I was apprehensive about attending my first Gaudy, 30 years after graduating. I’m not sure what I was scared of: being bored, being intimidated, feeling out of place?
My dear tutor, Brian Steer, tipped the balance by inviting my maths class of ’85 to lunch at his home the day after the Gaudy. I knew I would enjoy the Saturday, even if the Friday night was an unknown quantity.
So I found myself back in Hall, eating, chatting with old friends and thence to the bar, which I had last visited in Freshers’ Week. Later, while crossing the Hertford Bridge a friendly woman said “hello” and we got chatting. Turned out she lived in Scotland too, so we exchanged contact details.
And thus began a new friendship! Ness Collingridge (Geography 1986) and I have continued meeting up and chatting. She’s collected my daughter from Glasgow airport at midnight and invited me to speak about my charity at Café Scientifque Glasgow. I love her warmth, kindness, enthusiasm and hospitality.
In February 2017, I had watched a TV documentary by Kirsty Wark called “Menopause and Me” and was gob-smacked! It showed that menopause could affect my feelings and my thinking, as well as my body, and not just hot flushes – a whole host of symptoms. As a counsellor, I knew that talking helps. I had been hosting Death Cafés, so why not use the same format for a different taboo subject? My husband created a website. We held our first Menopause Café in Perth in June 2017.
Over a 1,000 pop-up Menopause Cafés have now been held worldwide. Volunteers host these discussion groups in their workplace or in their neighbourhood, online or in person. They’re open to all ages and genders, becuase our charity’s aim is to increase awareness and knowledge about the menopause, so that everyone feels comfortable talking about it, if they so wish.
“Just a thank you for tonight to all…who came, listened, talked, laughed and shared. Without sounding mushy I am actually very grateful for my menopause right now, this café you have started has given me back my confidence and laughter.”
In 2018 we organised the world’s first Menopause Festival. Our 5th festival, #FlushFest23 , takes place on September 8th and 9th, in person in Edinburgh and also online. There’ll be a Menopause Cabaret, featuring performances by singers, poets and storytellers. Also medic talks, a conversation with Val McDermid and her wife, creative workshops and… “The Revenge of the Invisible Women” by Dr Vanessa Collingridge!
So I encourage you to go to a Gaudy; it’s not just about renewing old friendships, but also starting new ones and finding surprising collaborations!
Menopause Café, Perth / Dr Vanessa Collingridge (Geography, 1986)
